Kathy Baker as Joyce in Edward Scissorhands is an inspiration:
No matter how many times I watch this movie, I will never understand how god damn perfect Joyce is. In fact, all I’ve ever wanted in life is what she is (besides the backstabbing/mob mentality). Let’s look at the facts:
- Her wardrobe is quite literally flawless. Form fitting suburban mom-wear never looked so good. Notice her meticulous pastel matching, from yellow oversized sweaters with high-waisted turquoise capris, to an entire mint colored pantsuit. White lace with baby blue ribbon lattice, and a bright jewel toned smock dress, to a point where she even wears a yellow jumpsuit with matching clunky yellow earrings.
- She knows how to accessorize. Big clear framed sunglasses, gigantic earrings to knock the wind out of you, polka dot aprons, the longest most pearlescent pink claws with matching lipstick in every single scene.
- Count how many cigarettes she smokes in the whole movie, count how many rooms she smokes in, notice how she holds each cigarette despite holding ambrosia salads and lemonade glasses, phones and purses. A chain smoker was never so god damn efficient.
- You wish you could seduce a man like she can. Inviting over cablemen, handymen, carpenters, and the like, sleeping with them and likely getting free repairs. She’s a taker of the innocent and man is that hot? God spelled MILF J-O-Y-C-E.
- Gossip girl? Try gossip queen. She can spread word like wildfire and still find a way to center drama around herself. A talent like that is rare.
All I’ve ever wanted to be in my late 30’s before settling down with a million men, rich, poor and hot.