We explain the appeal of boy bands and why they will never die:
Let’s face it, there are some people who just don’t actually understand what boy bands are or why we like them, and why they just won’t go out of fashion. Boy bands are offhandedly labeled as a “90’s” thing but hey, get over yourselves, they’ve been around forever. I hope you remember bands like The Flamingos, The Five Seasons, The Drifters, all men doo-wop groups that just made little 50’s/60’s girls’ hearts flutter, and it’s not hard to see why, God, they had lyrics saying you were the one, the only one, with creamy and dreamy voices harmonized together into one heart-aching confession of love for you. Then we have The Beach Boys, The Monkees, The Beatles, for teenie-boppers’ sakes. “I Wanna Hold Your Hand,” says quite literally everything a young teenage heart says every day, loud and clear through sweaty palms and awkward ankles of puberty. This is where boy bands become interesting, they create a specific look for themselves, they each have their own unique personalities, and you get a better look at them, you become acquainted with them in a way. Then there comes New Kids on the Block, Menudo, and New Edition, and this is where boy bands get dangerous. All of a sudden, here’s this new wave of boys that not only have lovely voices, are specifically interested in making you feel perfect, and each have a style and personality of their own, but they are being streamed over television every morning on MTV, telling girls from every which direction “You’ve got the right stuff, baby.” And, sweet lord, they can dance now too? And here is where I finally explain the appeal of boy bands: it’s basically a small pool of attractive jail bait boys, each one with a specific personality and style, that reaches out to their audience with songs of love; in other words it’s the illusion of choice. Do you want the bad boy or the boy next door? Do you want the blonde one or the one with the earring? Do you want the one that wears denim vests or the one that wears a tailored suit? Which one has the best voice? The bluest eyes? Not to mention, albums by boy bands are quite literally some of the best and most personal and emotional things I can listen too. I don’t just love boy bands because of the boys, I love them because, well, I get everything I want. Catchy music, hot boys, dance moves and every song just sounds like they’re all just totally okay with sharing you, they want your attention, not just because you’re sexy but because you’re a total package. They care. And we have Boyz II Men, The Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, The Jonas Brothers, NLT, and One Direction to prove that. And as long as you feel wanted by a gang of baby boys, they’ll keep on making music. Whoever’s annoyed with them has obviously never had a sex dream about Zayn Malik, Nick Carter and Joey McIntyre tying you up.