The Infamous Middle Finger
☞Spoiler Alert☜
We hated Poison Ivy:
Naturally, we’ll watch near any movie, shitty, disgusting, amazing, award-winning, and actually we’ll like most everything. Personally, I’ll watch anything about seducing your friends’ dads, because what’s not to love about that? But honestly, upon viewing Poison Ivy, I was just outright disappointed, after eating white bread with more substance. Let me introduce you to a vaguely rich family (fortune ambiguously explained), with a wannabe rebel daughter, who actually has a pretty cool Egyptian eye shaved into her head for one scene, who invites a sexier actual rebel into her home. Mom’s dying and pretty pissed, Dad totally falls for Drew Barrymore, and the main character is totally upset and angsty about it. Maybe I would have liked it if Tom Skerritt were hotter to me, or if the dramatic piano and sexy sax music was used with restraint, or if the Ivy’s actions were at all explained. Drew Barrymore as Ivy just seems to want to watch the world burn. No action whatsoever is explained other than “she’s just a sexy teen from the wrong side of the tracks and she’s evil.” I will say, her wardrobe is to die for in this movie. Tied button up shirts, yellow cut out dresses, a red sequined gown, and leather skirts with red trench coats and cowboy boots! A mix of both trashy and classy, which is always a personal favorite. Overall, it was just a run of the mill lolita-esque cumbuckety 90’s movie that tumblr girls will fall over themselves reblogging because their fragile hearts can’t comprehend how Drew’s hair is doing that.
We give it four out of ten trashy teens.
♐Guide to Sexy Shopping➳
Why shopping for clothes in porn shops is fantastic:
I know, I know, it sounds dirty, gross, not worth it (at least in the eyes of some), and most of all how are you going to explain to your mom your super mini skirts, your form fitting mesh dresses and lace camisoles? But I promise you, porn shops are some of the most comprehensive and amazing shopping experiences you can have. Think about it, it’s every white, pink pretty and lace, and everything vinyl and latex and black and metal. Why is it not socially acceptable? Let’s face it the public oversexualizes anything it can get it’s grubby little hands on, it says “I’m horny, and you’re wearing a short skirt so it’s your fault and you’re not allowed to do that, you’re a whore.” Who gives a flying fuck? Why not shove it in their faces? You get to wear what you want, and you know what, who doesn’t want to feel like a Playboy Bunny every once in a while. One of my favorite blogs, Fashion in Porn, is an extensive guide to how good porn can look. Think about it, mesh dresses, bustiers and bralettes, super tiny school girl skirts and cut-off shorts, some of the prettiest tights and garters you’ve ever seen, plus knee highs and ten-inch heels, it’s brilliant.
So how does one go about shopping at your neighborhood Adult Shop?
It’s quite easy, employees are very helpful and super friendly, making sure they make you feel comfortable and well informed on products. If not, then they generally just leave you alone. Picking out individual pieces to wear is super easy too, because no matter what, in the bedroom or on the streets, you’ll look amazing.
Personally I like the vinyl and latex sections, because hey, they’re mighty goth, super metal, just my style. From collars to skirts and masks, it can all be paired with the right thing in my closet. Latex cat masks go well with pretty much anything, jeans and t-shirts, plaid skirts and polos. Very Thora Birch.

You can find the prettiest lace, silk, and satin camisoles, dresses, robes, etc. These pair well with highwaisted shorts, skirts, denim, nearly anything, giving you a pretty nymphet look that gives Humbert Humbert types a run for their money.
Not to mention, the leopard print selection is out of this world.
Skirts, shorts, dresses are so amazingly short, it’s hard to even comprehend. If you can see the rounds of your ass cheeks, you know they’re fantastic.
Accessories are stellar. From fuzzy handcuffs you can wear as a double bracelet or dangling from your belt loops, to girly headbands with fluffy pink feathers, thigh highs with pretty white bows, full on fishnet bodysuits, chains, whips, garters, and oh, have I mentioned harnesses?
Shoes. Shoe selections are so wild, from ten inch clear plastic stripper heels (very Taylor Momsen), to leather pumps decorated with bullet casings, patent leather thigh high boots and strappy dick-stompers, it’s the ultimate “Fuck the Patriarchy” statement.
Next time you pass by a shop with the windows all blacked out, why not stop by? You might find something super cute, or be like me and buy all the chemises, garters, thigh highs and long sweeping robes so I can sit in them all day and watch Netflix whilst hoping someone knocks on the door so I can answer it.
♫4Ever Fans♫
We explain the appeal of boy bands and why they will never die:
Let’s face it, there are some people who just don’t actually understand what boy bands are or why we like them, and why they just won’t go out of fashion. Boy bands are offhandedly labeled as a “90’s” thing but hey, get over yourselves, they’ve been around forever. I hope you remember bands like The Flamingos, The Five Seasons, The Drifters, all men doo-wop groups that just made little 50’s/60’s girls’ hearts flutter, and it’s not hard to see why, God, they had lyrics saying you were the one, the only one, with creamy and dreamy voices harmonized together into one heart-aching confession of love for you. Then we have The Beach Boys, The Monkees, The Beatles, for teenie-boppers’ sakes. “I Wanna Hold Your Hand,” says quite literally everything a young teenage heart says every day, loud and clear through sweaty palms and awkward ankles of puberty. This is where boy bands become interesting, they create a specific look for themselves, they each have their own unique personalities, and you get a better look at them, you become acquainted with them in a way. Then there comes New Kids on the Block, Menudo, and New Edition, and this is where boy bands get dangerous. All of a sudden, here’s this new wave of boys that not only have lovely voices, are specifically interested in making you feel perfect, and each have a style and personality of their own, but they are being streamed over television every morning on MTV, telling girls from every which direction “You’ve got the right stuff, baby.” And, sweet lord, they can dance now too? And here is where I finally explain the appeal of boy bands: it’s basically a small pool of attractive jail bait boys, each one with a specific personality and style, that reaches out to their audience with songs of love; in other words it’s the illusion of choice. Do you want the bad boy or the boy next door? Do you want the blonde one or the one with the earring? Do you want the one that wears denim vests or the one that wears a tailored suit? Which one has the best voice? The bluest eyes? Not to mention, albums by boy bands are quite literally some of the best and most personal and emotional things I can listen too. I don’t just love boy bands because of the boys, I love them because, well, I get everything I want. Catchy music, hot boys, dance moves and every song just sounds like they’re all just totally okay with sharing you, they want your attention, not just because you’re sexy but because you’re a total package. They care. And we have Boyz II Men, The Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, The Jonas Brothers, NLT, and One Direction to prove that. And as long as you feel wanted by a gang of baby boys, they’ll keep on making music. Whoever’s annoyed with them has obviously never had a sex dream about Zayn Malik, Nick Carter and Joey McIntyre tying you up.